What's In A Name?

1. A petty white-collar thief who robs his boss over seven years.
- Richard Downing is the type of person who works through his six-year-old daughter’s very first swim meet.
- Richard Downing is the type of person who thinks that the true meaning of the holidays can be wrapped in shiny paper.
- Richard Downing is the type of person who will show off the diamond tennis bracelet he bought his wife to the guys at the office before giving it to her.
- Richard Downing is the type of person whose loafers are never scuffed.
- Richard Downing is the type of person who considers golfing with the head of the company his life dream.

2 . An envious, bitter woman who makes her sister’s life miserable by systematically trying to undercut her pleasure and self-confidence.
- Judith Knife is the type of person who calls her sister in the middle of her honeymoon to alternate between planting seeds of doubt in her ear and scaring her into thinking she left the stove on at home.
- Judith Knife is the type of person who brings her misfit, obnoxious boyfriend to mellow family gatherings.
- Judith Knife is the type of person who jogs for 30 minutes, 3 times a week, but never without makeup.
- Judith Knife is the type of person who would ask her sister if she was gaining weight or if her wedding gown just wasn’t tailored correctly.
- Judith Knife is the type of person who would use her maternity leave to send her sister a virus via email, but label it as “pictures of your new nephew!”

3. A sweet young man too shy to speak to an attractive woman he sees every day at work.
- Brian Turner is the type of person who wears khakis and rugby shirts seven days a week.
- Brian Turner is the type of person who is still afraid someone will yell at him if he skips a class in college, even though he’s been there for two years.
- Brian Turner is the type of person who has a smile that would make any girl swoon, but is completely unaware of that feature.
- Brian Turner is the type of person who apologizes too much.
- Brian Turner is the type of person who isn’t ashamed to say he’s only had two girlfriends.

4. The owner of a fast food restaurant who comes on to his young female employees.
- Damian Pahl is the type of person who thinks that the .5 ounce bottles of cologne were made for a single dose.
- Damian Pahl is the type of person who parents don’t want to be around when their teenage daughters have to work late.
- Damian Pahl is the type of person who likes to whisper in the ears of, and hovers around the shoulders of his employees while they are working the fryer in the back.
- Damian Pahl is the type of person who would brings his wife to work to make fun of his employees, and then flirts with them as soon as she leaves.
- Damian Pahl is the type of person who thinks its sexy to not wash his hair for several weeks.

5. A grandmother who just won the lottery.
- Gloria Wells is the type of person who runs to Baby Gap as soon as she cashes in the winning ticket.
- Gloria Wells is the type of person who refuses to dye her hair, but embraces the natural “blonde” that age has graced her with.
- Gloria Wells is the type of person who has seven bird feeders and three birdbaths visible from her kitchen window so that she can watch her feathered friends while she washes the dishes.
- Gloria Wells is the type of person who volunteers as a greeter every Sunday at church.
- Gloria Wells is the type of person who wouldn’t mind trading in her Mercedes for a minivan if it meant spending more time with her grandchildren.